These Couples Survived a Lot. Then Came Retirement.

Richard and Yvonne McCracken, who have had to figure out how to share their space since retiring. Credit... David Hilliard for The New York Times

Susan Dominus is a staff writer for the magazine. She has written about open marriages, treatment for menopause and the efficacy of therapy.

This spring, Barbara and Joe, a retired couple in their 60s, sat down with me at a bistro in suburban Connecticut to talk about their relationship. That they were sitting there together at all was something of a triumph. In the past few days, they had hurled at each other the kinds of accusations that couples make when they are on the brink of mutual destruction. They were bruised from the words that had been exchanged, and although they sat close to each other, their energy was quiet and heavy.

Barbara and Joe met 13 years ago, two divorced people who had relentlessly climbed their way up from working-class backgrounds. Barbara rose to be the vice president of a wholesale apparel business before moving into retail, then winding down her career; to keep herself busy, she sells clothing online a few hours a day. Joe co-founded a delivery business that he sold in 2021 for an amount that meant he would never have to work again; he retired in January last year. He and Barbara had time; they had money; they had leisure. They also had a problem: They were driving each other mad.

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