The Prime Minister might have said “sorry” for attending a party during lockdown, but his language suggested no remorse or shame, and little ackno

Sorry-not-sorry: the science behind Boris Johnson’s non-apology

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2022-01-14 16:30:09

The Prime Minister might have said “sorry” for attending a party during lockdown, but his language suggested no remorse or shame, and little acknowledgement of the victims.

It doesn’t take specialist expertise to notice that when Boris Johnson apologised for attending a Downing Street garden party during lockdown, his apology sounded a lot like a “sorry, but…” – the excuses following so swiftly as to render hollow the initial apology. Even as the public continues to demand apologies from politicians, it has become so accustomed to evasive, weak non-apologies that you might begin to wonder what purpose the ritual serves. What can a “sorry” offer to those families who said goodbye to their dying loved ones over FaceTime while politicians partied on?

In his 2004 book On Apology, Aaron Lazare, a former professor of psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, made an impassioned case for the public and private apology. When done right, an apology can bring about forgiveness and reconciliation, by restoring dignity and validation to wounded parties and offering them reparations and assurances. But bad apologies often make things worse. He argued that a good apology contains four features. First, acknowledgement: it must clearly acknowledge the offence and who has been offended. Second, explanation: it might try to mitigate the offence by showing it wasn’t personal or intentional, but these explanations must be honest. Third, it must include an expression of remorse, shame and humility. And finally, it must offer real or symbolic reparation.