On August 1st, Lindsay Clancy, a labor-and-delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital, posted to a Facebook group for followers of the “Miracle Morning” self-help regimen, which involves waking up early each day for meditation, visualization, and exercise. “Had my third baby 2 months ago and tried to stick with my MM after he was born,” Clancy wrote. In the previous couple of weeks, she’d fallen off track, but, she went on, “Even though I was up at 12:30, 1:30, and 3 with the baby I’m still gonna try starting my day at 5 so I can get a good MM in before everyone’s up. Wish me luck!!!”
In November, Clancy, who is thirty-two, posted to another Facebook group, called “I Am Not Alone: Postpartum Depression/Anxiety & Rage.” She disclosed that she was experiencing depression, insomnia, and decreased appetite while taking the antidepressant Zoloft; she fared better with Ativan, a benzodiazepine, but worried that she might become addicted to it. In December, Clancy wrote in her journal and confided in her husband about recurrent suicidal thoughts and, at least once, thoughts of harming her children. Just before Christmas, she was evaluated at the Women & Infants Hospital Center for Women’s Behavioral Health, in Providence, Rhode Island, where she was not diagnosed as having postpartum depression. (At some point, Clancy received a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder.) On New Year’s Day, she voluntarily checked in to the McLean psychiatric hospital, in Belmont, Massachusetts; she was discharged on January 5th, again seemingly without a postpartum-related diagnosis. Between October and January, according to reports, Clancy was prescribed at least twelve different medications.
If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text TALK to 741741.