I had not planned to go anywhere on Friday. I envisioned it as another lethargic Saturday, moved up in the week: I would wake up at 11am, go to a coff

In the Butterfly Place

submited by
Style Pass
2023-01-23 19:00:10

I had not planned to go anywhere on Friday. I envisioned it as another lethargic Saturday, moved up in the week: I would wake up at 11am, go to a coffee shop, try and fail to work on one of my personal projects, then eventually return home for the remainder of a still full-day and enter a media-saturated trance of movies, TV series, and podcasts until I fell asleep. But in the final work hours of that Thursday, I was asked by a coworker what I had planned for my day off. I told her I just planned to relax, and she responded with no judgment, arguably with encouragement. And yet after the meeting ended, I wondered why I was confining myself to such small existential quarters. Was the range of my agency really so limited? Could I not envision something more engaging than media and then sleep?

I had a doctor’s appointment in the mid-afternoon on Friday, but late Thursday evening I called to cancel. I then rented a ZipCar from 9am to 8pm for Friday, quickly thought of an itinerary for the next day—The Butterfly Place, Peabody Essex Museum, Waikiki Beach, then back to Cambridge—and spent the rest of Thursday night in a state of low-level anxiety which was only partly quelled by repeatedly telling myself that I did not have to go anywhere.

Leave a Comment