On Dating – Trenton Bricken – Interested in Machine Learning, Neuroscience, and Original Glazed Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

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2024-03-29 05:00:02

I see a number of blog posts and books like this, this, and this that will develop an interesting theory and then relate it to the dating problem but in a cursory fashion, as a subset of a more abstract problem. Here I try to aggregate these pieces together into a series of considerations that may be useful?

The TLDR; go on lots of dates, exploring more than you otherwise would. Commit to more serious relationships when they are great but don’t be afraid to end them. Be biased towards meeting more people rather than committing to any one person at least until your later 20s.

I recall some study where they had people list their “type” before doing a round of speed dating. The people they liked the most in the speed dating were often quite different from the people they said they liked abstractly! Scott Alexander writes about the weirdness and diversity of interpersonal interactions that come from different vibes or “auras”:

A few years ago I had lunch with another psychiatrist-in-training and realized we had totally different experiences with psychotherapy.