“My heart is in the work”: Organs required for your CMU education – The Tartan
Before I joined Carnegie Mellon, I was in awe of its elite reputation. Now, as I graduate this week, I can look back and appreciate the sacrifices that I made along the way. Carnegie Mellon’s motto — “my heart is in the work” — begins to capture the effort that is needed to survive here. However, it is not enough — in my parting words of wisdom, I humbly suggest that every incoming student be willing to place many more organs on the line besides the heart, in order to meet Carnegie Mellon’s high bar.
Of course, the first and most obvious organ that must go is the kidney. A good kidney can easily fetch up to $5,000 in the market. An average student would require 13 such kidneys to fund one year of education (~$64,000) at Carnegie Mellon, and should therefore acquire as many as possible from family members before arriving.
For those worried about your family’s nephrological deficiencies, don’t fear. Carnegie Mellon’s official saving strategies guide provides valuable financial planning recommendations such as “Split or share meals with friends” and “Don’t shop more than once a week.” Doing this can have an incredible impact — sacrificing your stomach by skipping a few dinners can save you around $20 per week. This totals to $650 per academic year — insignificant compared to tuition of course, but just enough to pay your additional “first year experience fee.”
