F or most of my life, I’ve lived alone. This means that spontaneous conversations don’t flare up the way they do when you’re driving your kid t

How to Talk to People When You Live Alone

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2024-10-12 11:00:07

F or most of my life, I’ve lived alone. This means that spontaneous conversations don’t flare up the way they do when you’re driving your kid to their friend’s house and end up talking about septum rings. Conversations for people who live alone, regardless of relationship status, must be actively initiated by some party, often through technological means.

Armchair scientist that I am, I resolved to keep a log of my first conversation of the day with another human. Then I would scan the data to see what patterns emerged.

My first conversation of the day with a human was with a couple of gym employees. It was early in the new year. I got to the university gym right when it opened, at 7 a.m., so I could have my pick of machines and not have to bench in other people’s sweat. Following my chiropractor’s recommendation, I did three sets of squats, three sets of bench, then I looked around and couldn’t find the equipment for the last exercise, so I went up to the employees and asked, Hey, is there a lat machine somewhere?

Yeah. She pointed to the intimidating section of the gym where guys wore contraptions on their waists, wrists, and ankles. The lat machine was in use. I wasn’t going to wait around for the guy using it to finish and then adjust the weight down while he snickered internally.