Workplace advice columnist Alison Green answers all your questions about office life. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com.

‘I Don’t Want to Be Like a Family With My Co-Workers’

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2021-08-21 10:30:06

Workplace advice columnist Alison Green answers all your questions about office life. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com.

I work for a nonprofit organization. My department is a very close-knit one, with lots of talk about being “a family” and always being willing to help people out on projects even if it isn’t in our job description.

I make a point of being firm about work-life boundaries. I am politely resolute about my lunch breaks and out-of-office time and do actually tell people “no” when I am too busy with my own work to help out on projects or participate in “fun” department activities. I have also been outspoken in group meetings when managers attempt to push boundaries because of the aforementioned “family” vibe (like trying to make anonymous feedback non-anonymous because “we’re all family and we can be honest with each other”). I do great work though, and my supervisors are always very complimentary.

Recently, however, a friend in my department was told she would not receive a promotion because she is not a “team player.” When pressed, HR and her supervisor mentioned her absence from department-bonding activities.