Not All Frustrations Are Created Equal
Frustration intolerance (FI), or low frustration tolerance (LFT), refers to a meta-cognitive process wherein individuals think that they cannot stand something. In the theory of REBT, FI is conceptualized as a core irrational belief, or a universal type of thinking that results in psychological disturbance and/or blocked ambitions. These beliefs are held to be self-evident and can arise in response to a number of diverse conditions. This type of thinking produces unhealthy negative emotions such as anger, depression, and anxiety.
Research supports four types of FI: 1) entitlement, 2) emotional intolerance, 3) discomfort intolerance, and 4) achievement perfectionism. Individuals with entitlement intolerance exhibit a demand for fairness and insist that their desires be met (“I must get what I want.”). This type of FI has been associated with anger. In contrast, those with emotional intolerance believe that unhealthy negative emotions are intolerable (“I can’t bear to feel this way!”). Individuals who think in this style will try to quickly relieve or avoid emotional distress. Not surprisingly, this type of disturbance is associated with anxiety. Demands for comfort or discomfort intolerance implies a stance that life should be easy and free of complications (“I can’t stand to be inconvenienced!”). If one is thinking this way, they will easily give up on tasks, and the associated feeling is usually depression. Lastly, achievement intolerance consists of demands (not preferences) for high standards. The idea is that these demands are related to perfectionistic ideals per se, separate from self-evaluation (i.e., diminished self-worth).
The content of treatment for FI will differ based on the type of presenting problem, but more generally it involves an acceptance of reality. It is worth mentioning that acceptance of an emotion, problem, or situation is not uncommonly met with resistance. People seem to confound acceptance with resignment. They mistakenly think that by accepting something, they are giving in to it, and relinquishing the opportunity for change. Au contraire. When we think in a logical manner and accept reality (that which is), we are in a better emotional place to bring about change. In other words, acceptance begets a healthy emotional state, and most people function better in this space. Just to be clear, a healthy emotional state is not the nonexistence of negative emotions (e.g., frustration, concern, disappointment), but rather is the absence of unhealthy negative emotions.
