Loneliness: The Four Circles of Belonging (2/2) - by joss
In part 1 of this essay, we talked about how repeated failed attempts to address loneliness lead to unhelpful conclusions and ineffective solutions. Part 2 proposes a new framework for thinking about loneliness — The Four Circles of Belonging.
This framework has helped me pinpoint and articulate the precise types of connection I’ve lacked and has allowed me to then be intentional with troubleshooting, making it a lot easier for me to find solutions that actually work.
So without further ado, it’s time to introduce the The Four Circles of Belonging: the Inner Circle, the Squad, the Clan, and the Collective.
This essay will break down each circle in more detail, discuss what it feels like when you’ve filled it, and outline steps to take if you feel you could use a little bit more connection in that area of life. It’ll conclude by discussing strategies for filling all four circles and the importance of prioritizing connection as a lifelong pursuit.
This circle will feel full every time a stranger smiles at you in the street. You’ll have an internal smile when someone holds the elevator for you and says “have a nice day” when you part ways. You’ll feel it when you share experiences with someone you’ll never meet again — running for cover from torrential rain, listening to a screaming baby in public, making eye contact with a stranger across a crowded bar — for the brief sliver of time that you share, you’ll switch off autopilot and telepathically communicate:
