delanceyplace archive | daily eclectic excerpts by editor Richard Vague | www.delanceyplace.com

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2021-06-19 00:00:15

Today's selection -- from How to Invent Everything by Ryan North. If you should get transported back to pre-history, here’s how to tan an animal skin:

"Tanning was originally invented in 7000 BCE. Without tanning, animal skins quickly rot, and even dried ones become hard, inflexible, and brittle. Tanning transforms these skins into leather: a substance so resistant to rot that leather shoes from 3500 BCE have survived into the modern era. It's something you'll definitely want to do, but you should keep in mind that preparing animal skins for tanning involves not only skin fermentation but also soaking them in urine and massaging them in poop slurries, so maybe set up your tanneries downwind.

"Immediately after slaughtering the animals, lay the skins flat and cover the fleshy side in salt or sand, which will dry them out and delay decomposition. In a few days the hides will become hard and almost crispy, and they can then be transported to your tanning area. Once there, you'll soak the hides: this cleans off dirt and gore and softens them up again. Scour the skins to remove any remaining flesh, then soak them in urine -- this loosens the hair, which can then be scraped off. You'll make the poop slurry we advertised earlier by mixing poo and water, and then soak your skins in that: enzymes in the poop will cause the skins to ferment, softening them and making them more flexible. You can help this process by standing in your poop slurry and kneading the skins with your feet -- just keep telling yourself you're crushing grapes -- but be sure to wash up with soap and water afterward, or better yet use nonhuman power (like a waterwheel) to knead the skins for you.

"After all this, two things will have happened: your animal skins will be soft, flexible, and ready for tanning, and nobody will want to get anywhere near you.