Individualism, cell phones and social fatigue: Why unexpected visitors are in danger of extinction
The ring of the doorbell when you’re not expecting anyone is, at the least, odd. Above all in big cities, where distances between homes can be long and the act of going to see someone implies a certain amount of preparation to traverse the town. In far-flung neighborhoods, the chance that someone was merely in the area is low and the sound of someone at the door is more commonly tied to the arrival of a delivery person or a letter carrier. Unexpected visits are getting less common, be they from friends, family members or neighbors who show up unannounced with the aim of having a little chat.
Such encounters happen often in small urban centers and rural areas where neighbors don’t just share walls, but also, in a certain way, their free time. A lack of new residents can lead to deeper personal relationships with one’s existing neighbors that aren’t limited to a simple “hello” and “goodbye,” as they are in larger-sized cities. In contrast, social relationships that develop in the neighborhoods of major metropolises, particularly those groupings of persons who are tied together by nothing more than the simple fact that they share space, are in danger of extinction. Such are the claims of some neighborhood associations that are bearing witness to a massive exodus of local populations, supplanted by temporary neighbors, inhabitants of tourist apartments in which they rent rooms or the entire apartment and spend a short amount of time in the city. Rent increases that have taken place in recent years, added to the impossibility of saving up enough to buy one’s own home, are transforming the urban social balance.
“A sense of community is not necessarily based on really getting to know one’s neighbors, nor becoming immersed in their lives, but rather, maintaining good relationships, which means avoiding conflict. While it’s true that big cities favor individualism and loneliness, they also protect intimacy, because they prevent one from forever living in view of everyone else, something that often happens in small communities. That is to say, they have their pros and cons,” Pedro Azara, architect and professor of aesthetics and art theory at the Polytechnic University of Catalonia, tells EL PAÍS. In this sense, not running into people you know on the street or expecting a neighbor or friend to show up at the front door isn’t necessarily an indication that the urbanite has become more self-absorbed, but rather, that the contemporary makeup of cities invites one to stand at a certain distance from people in order to maintain a sense of freedom. Becoming perturbed when someone visits you without warning has to do, in a certain way, with the feeling that one’s intimate moments have been exposed.
