Asking for Help - by Ekin Öcalan - Sustainable Productivity

In the past, I tried to do everything on my own. Life or work did not matter; somehow, I convinced myself that I should not ask for help. I never thought that it was an option. Even though I was open to helping others and often suggested to people around me to ask for my help, I didn’t think the opposite could be a viable option. I took on an enormous amount of responsibilities. I overly stressed myself at times yet was never willing to share some of the duties with others. Was there a massive task at work that I would be unable to cope with? I did not ask for help until the last minute. Did I not have the time to do the chores at home? I chose to cut from my sleep to finish them even though my partner could help. Now I ask for help every day for a wide range of reasons, and I learned that it’s the healthiest if I ask for help even before getting stuck.

One of the reasons I did not ask for help, especially in the workplace, was that I believed that I would have more experience if I did the task alone. I found that spending time on a job that I’m struggling at is beneficial. I need to focus on solving complex problems, and when I concentrate, I learn. However, learning happens logarithmically—it’s fast in the beginning but degrades after a certain point. When I insist on going the extra mile to solve it all by myself, I coincidentally miss the opportunities of learning from others. Even if those others do not solve the problem, they can provide a fresh insight with a different point of view. When you’re too focused on a particular task, it’s harder to take a step back. Gaining a different perspective is the least the help can provide—yet it may be powerful enough to unblock you.

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