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The Garden of Forking Paths

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2024-04-23 11:30:06

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At 2:47pm on January 6, 1995, Clifton Johnson and McArthur Wheeler walked into the Mellon Bank branch in Swissvale, a small suburb of Pittsburgh. One of them pointed a handgun at the teller, demanding cash. The teller, shaking with fear, handed over some money. The robbers ran out.

Unlike most bank robbers, Johnson and Wheeler made no attempt to disguise themselves, nor to obscure their faces with masks. They looked straight into security cameras. This was particularly puzzling because Wheeler, five foot six and 270 pounds, had an easily identifiable physique—and a distinct face. Sure enough, his conspicuousness doomed him. The local news flashed a photo of Wheeler on the 11 o’clock news. An hour later, after tip-offs flooded in, Wheeler was arrested.

“But I wore the lemon juice. I wore the lemon juice,” Wheeler protested as he was taken into custody. When the cops showed him surveillance footage in which he’s clearly visible robbing the bank, Wheeler’s face contorted in disbelief. Something in his ingenious plan, he realized, had gone very wrong.