On Conflicts and Staying Safe

I can’t recall the last time I wanted something so bad that I pursued it with everything I had. When I see my friend plotting tactics to marry the girl he loves, despite multiple setbacks from her family, I simply wonder, “Would I do the same if I were in his shoes?”

Maybe I didn’t had something to pursue with all my will. Or, maybe I’m afraid of the feelings of not achieving something after I’d done everything and beyond my power to get that thing.

I think it’s the latter. Because I know that I always have this tendency to avoid conflict and any bad outcomes. It’s an escape mechanism to prevent myself from feeling bad. But at what cost?

Part of this “staying in the safe zone” also mean I don’t want any fingers pointed at me. When my friend desperately asked for any ideas as to what to do next to get his girl, I suggested discussing with his family and such, which I already know is of no use. I didn’t want to give any ideas that would flunk and then get blamed for that (even though I’m sure that my friend here won’t do it). I just wanted to be safe.

At one point my friend said, “I think I’m going to talk to her brother.” The brother was the one taking the decision and he didn’t seem friendly from what I remembered from my friend’s description. “Do you think it’s a good idea. I’m not sure how would he respond,” I said, staying safe, as usual. I didn’t want my friend to get hurt. “Well, you can’t live if you think like that,” he said.

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