Good Pressure, Bad Pressure

It’s not a good place to be, having those thoughts. I call it being in The Pit, when you feel there are thousands of miles to go, but you’re stuck in a hole. It’s when the scathing commentary of your inner critic echoes off the sheer walls, turning from whispers into screams. In the Pit, you feel so very alone. Doubt is your soundtrack and fear is your sustenance. It’s the sensation that you’re teetering along the edge of a sheer cliff with flailing arms, the whole world watching and waiting to see when you fall.

When I have those thoughts, everything changes. I’m on steady ground and looking out into the horizon. The challenges near and far — the mountains to scale, the rivers to swim, the ravines to cross — are no less difficult, but I know they are not impossible because I believe in where I’m going. I know that any journey of thousands of miles comes down to simply putting one foot in front of the other. If I take a wrong turn or mess up, I have a community who will help me get back on my feet. No matter what happens, they’ve got my back and they’ll tell me: “You’ve got this.”

In the first world, I feel alone, afraid, and untethered. I feel that I am fighting for survival. In the second world, I feel a sense of safety, belonging, and confidence. I feel like I am doing what I believe is right.

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