Every family or group has its own gift-giving culture. Some want the gift to be something that both giver and receiver enjoy—a social media curmudge

In defense of practical gifts

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2024-12-25 01:30:15

Every family or group has its own gift-giving culture. Some want the gift to be something that both giver and receiver enjoy—a social media curmudgeon would never gift a selfie stick. In some groups, you can ask for what you like, but in others, it would horribly cheapen the whole experience. Others think gifts must be FUN! and opening a gift with any practical value is a bummer.

There's nothing like joining another family to show you the water you swim in. Right away, I got loving jokes from my in-laws about giving and asking for “practical" gifts. At first, this baffled me. Buying someone paper towel is practical, but buying them a beautiful set of Swedish sponge cloths is the gift of everyday luxury! (Yes, I see it now.)

But I'm happy to report that my in-laws have come around, giving and requesting things they'd previously describe as practical. They now see that the point is not that they're practical—it's that they're thoughtful. Those gifts are actually the gift of noticing, luxury, or convenience. It's taken me years to articulate, but here are some ways I think about gifts. If you or someone you love has been accused of giving practical gifts, here's a translation guide.

Why is a technologist and coach writing about this? First, it’s early December, which is sandwiched neatly between the Christmas frenzy and an election that’s been making me think deeply about how we can take care of each other going forward. Second, I think people underappreciate how fun it is to pick a great gift! It’s both an interesting challenge and a potent dose of care.