Positivists since the 19th-century French philosopher Auguste Comte have considered material progress an inevitable feature of human history. The huma

Put a Fork in the Spork

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2024-11-21 21:30:04

Positivists since the 19th-century French philosopher Auguste Comte have considered material progress an inevitable feature of human history. The human condition always continues to improve in direct proportion to the advancement of science and technological innovation.

The spork is a prime example of the debasement of our species. Everyone who has ever tried to use it realizes the idiocy of the contraption. Its design—a shallow bowl with small projecting truncated tines—precludes any effective use as either a spoon or a fork. Instead, it combines the worst features of both utensils: Liquid spills through the diminutive tines before soup hits the lips, and the tines themselves are too blunt to easily puncture and convey to the mouth anything that might be considered solid food.

The origins of this utensil date back to 1874, when a doctor and inventor named Samuel W. Francis was awarded the first U.S. patent for a knife-fork-spoon hybrid. Made of metal and designed to pierce solid foods, it was never intended for people able to use cutlery in each hand. Rather, Francis designed his new utensil so that a mother with a baby in her arms, or a person with only one functioning limb, could manage to eat without difficulty.