MEGA: Make Europe Great Again, For Real This Time

Let’s have a chat. An open letter, if you will, because what Europe desperately needs right now is not another summit with endless coffee breaks ☕, but some brutally honest feedback. Consider this a performance review — the kind you wish you’d had before meeting Erdogan and discovering what it feels like to be furniture 🪑. (Seriously, Ursula, not even a folding chair? That was peak geopolitical manspreading.)

Now, onto the serious stuff: Europe. Or what’s left of it. You see, we’re struggling out here. Not because we’re lazy — our work ethic is fine 💪 — but because the union you’re helming feels about as cohesive as a badly written IKEA manual 📚. If we’re going to have a shot at international relevance, we need to fix some glaring problems. Here are three radical-but-not-really ideas to make Europe functional, competitive, and dare I say… interesting again:

A Common Tax System The current setup is a disaster. Each country has its own labyrinthine tax laws, which means multinational companies are playing hopscotch across borders to avoid paying their fair share. It’s like a game of Monopoly, but instead of buying properties, they’re hoarding loopholes. Meanwhile, small businesses — the backbone of any economy — are crushed under the weight of compliance costs. A unified tax system would level the playing field and bring in the kind of revenue 💸 we need to actually fund meaningful initiatives. (Hint: Maybe less bureaucracy and more innovation grants? Just sayin’)

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