Confession: I’m really bad at replying to messages. Sometimes it takes me days, even weeks, to get back to people. I constantly find myself typing

No, I’m Not Always Available - by Freya India

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2024-09-26 19:00:04

Confession: I’m really bad at replying to messages. Sometimes it takes me days, even weeks, to get back to people. I constantly find myself typing out some variation of the words sorry for not getting back to you sooner, oops sorry I completely missed this, hey sorry I thought I replied! It’s an endless cycle: feel pressured to reply, feel guilty for not doing it, procrastinate, feel worse the longer I wait, finally apologise, they respond—and then I do it all over again.

I’ve tried to be better. I’ve made countless New Year’s Resolutions to respond quicker, set myself strict rules to always reply the same day, even added texting people back to my to-do list. Nothing works. But lately I’ve been wondering if that’s because there’s a problem with me, or if it’s this expectation to always be available , to be instantly accessible, that’s the problem.

Because it turns out I’m not alone in this. There are many others, particularly in Gen Z, who say they feel this constant pressure. Who let all their messages pile up to the point where they can’t face explaining themselves to everyone. Who can’t focus on work because they’re thinking about all the unanswered emails in their inbox. Who can’t be present in the moment because they’re worried about all the people waiting for a reply. And I’ve seen a lot of posts lately claiming that this is a symptom of ADHD, or an anxiety disorder. Some Zoomers even think they struggle to respond to everyone online because of social anxiety.